Here is a fun lesbian themed clip from the Golden Girls.
Golden Girls was  such a great show.  This was a laugh out
loud clip for me.  See what you think

I always feel I am stuck in a really poorly made sci-fi movie when I look around at people with heads on their shoulders with a mal-functioning
brain. As I say in my comedy act, in the brain we have grey matter, white matter and what’s the matter. What is the matter with people who freak out at the idea of gay marriage equality.

The words such as the old Adam and Eve routine, they wear me down already. If Adam and Eve were here they would still be in the Garden but it would be the Garden Party we have every year for Gay Pride.

And

Well to show my pride (which has nothing to do with rainbows)  I would like to share some pictures of my four legged and an occasional one eyed cat.

There is one special day – the day of the gay pride march when thousands of lesbians seem to manifest magically, as if the tide rolls in and drops them off on 5th Ave. And when that Sunday is over, the tide rolls them back out to sea and we are left with only 3 lesbians once again. Of course we all know that the illusion that there are more lesbians is done with mirrors.

Have you ever had your single lesbian friend get into a relationship and you don’t see her anymore? She seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth. This could be another strange phenomena known as the lesbian black hole where lesbian couples dematerialize and get sucked into nothingness.

Nowhere in recorded history, not even in the Guiness Book of World Records or the records of other species, or category of humans have there been more break-ups over and over and over again with the same lover than in the life of a lesbian. You think someone is standing around them using the lesbian relationship clapper. Clap on, clap off. I have personally known couples that were on and off for years. A new greeting card for lesbians is being created by Hallmark that says, “I am so sorry for your break-up, congratulations for getting back together again, I am so sorry for your break-up, congratulations for getting back together again. I am so sorry for your break-up…”

Asking, “What is a lesbian?” can include all the well known cliches. After that a lesbian can be every variation of human possibilities, since we are all differnet. Our labels for ourselves are far and wide and mean different things to whoever you ask and in what year you asked it. I have developed sexual and gender identity anxiety. I am afraid I will say the wrong thing and offend someone in my community. But who can keep up with all the new terms? Move over Webster’s Dictionary.

The Community Center is constantly adding new letters its name. We are currently up to LGBT which is starting to sound like a sandwich. I”ll have an lgbt on rye, hold the mayo. We are getting more divided and more specialized so that people on our own community can’t even keep up. Besides gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, we have our polyamorous, mtf, women who dress as the opposite sex, bois, dykes, butch (with its levels that sound like toothbrushes-soft, hard…surely there must be a medium), We have femme, queer, aggressives and the married lesbians who are married to men but want a lesbian lover. I was at the center giving out flyers for a dating event to a group I thought was the bisexual
support group. It was the butch/femme society and one femme woman made it very very clear she would never go out with a femme only a butch. And femme won’t come to my event unless I promise that butch women will be there. I went to a polyamourous meeting thinking they may be interested in my bisexual dating event, but I was told by that they only want to promote polyamourous events. So it seems the polyamorous want to be distinct from the bisexuals. How do you separate bisexual from polyamourous if they have sexual relationships with both men and women. And then married lesbians, aren’t they bisexual? What about the straight woman who gets fed up with men, finds a lesbian for one round of a relationship then returns to men. Is she a bisexual, this “temporary lesbian?” When I tried to hand a flyer for my lesbian dating event to a woman I thought was butch with some facial hair, she said, “I’m a man–a ftm.”

In our cliches, we must admit life as a lesbian can be quite funny. Although I think our emotional lives in relationships need to be taken more seriously, our approach to life and dating needs to be taken more lightly. Loosen up lesbians. Even though comedy is to lesbians what show tunes are to gay men, women need to approach our dating with more levity. Women need to lighten up in the dating arena and approach dating like a trip to
Disney World instead of to the dentist for root canal work or to the doctor for a colonoscopy.
It is challenging though…